Vyros Batrep 3. What the fush? Snakes and chumps?

 

Live camera footage of Jewfish encountering Garyth. Garyth has caught Jewfish in a Gallows psuedo boosted, however after reeling him in Jewfish feats and all appears to be lost for Garyth.

 Episode 2

Return of the Jewfish

When we last left the Jewfish it was loosing to Khador and generally douching the faction known as the Retribution of Scyrah.

Despite valiant attempts from the factions leaders, such as Garyth, Kaelyssa, Ossyan and Rahn the faction was left with peppermint colons.

In a desperate attempt to stem the onslaught of anal hygiene the newly incarnated leader of the Retribution of Scyrah, Epic Vyros assisted by the use of the Hyperion an ancient Retribution weapon of mass destruction attempts regain control of Scyrahs most sacred passage.

Herein lies the tale of the continued battle of the Retribution of Cyryst against the tyranny of the Jewfish and the cult of Old Gregg.

42 points

Retribution:

Vyros, Incissar of the Dawnguard

Aspis

Griffon

Griffon

Hyperion

House Shyeel Battle Mages (Leader and 5 Grunts)

Soulless Escort

Arcanist

Arcanist

Lanyssa Ryssyll, Nyss Sorceress

Mage Hunter Assassin

Mage Hunter Assassin

Narn, Mage Hunter of Ios

Looks like I was playing in a dark room, it was really just Jewfishes passive feat aura.

 First turn to Jewfish, Vyros feats maybe early but is in a good counter punch position

Cult of Old Gregg

Jewfish

Wrastler

Swamp Horror

Gators

Gators

Bogs

Gobbers

Snapper

Bag and Douche Nozzle.

Gators kills Battle Mages and some jacks reposition.

Hypnos with synergy up kills engaging gators, sitting just out of charge range from the Wrastler

 The Swamp Horror charged Hyperion with Fury up, taking out half of its grid, but the Wrastler fell short. Vyros responded by killing some gators on the left zone, getting synergy. One gator took a fee strike to kill the Arcanist so I couldn't repair Hypnos, it was ok tho, by the end of synergy I would be mat 10 at dice + 7, I'll be fine right? right?..... right?

So after the Aspis and Griffon put some damage on the Wrastler Hyperion with his broken arm hits it and kills it pretty easy. Then he makes his initial on the Swamp Horror, doing 1/3 of its boxes, then it snakes. Its ok tho, still have 2 focus to spend. So I hit again leaving it on one box and buy for my last attack and snake again. derp. Mage Hunter Assassin in the left zone whips a Gator and kills it...

Soooooooo... Vyros is ok, hes in a wreck and armor lots and charging bog trogs and swamp gobbers cant hurt him, except his Griffons are dieing and he cant take scenario...

 

 I eventually kill off enough things to take the right zone for a Domination and the Griffon lives on the left.

 But then the griffon dies. So I'm on 2 and hes on 2. Rask has admonition on himself so I try to get around it by performing ride by attacks,  which don't get around it.  Knowing this now I could have moved the Griffon around in the zone to keep contesting it and scored with Vyros again. Vyros killed  the things in the zone and completed his movement engaging Rask anyway.

 

Rask Furies the remaining Gatorman, which Vyros failed to kill with his Ride By ranged attack.
The Bull Snapper sits in the left zone for a third point and the Gatorman kills the Griffon, allowing the Swamp Gobber that got away from the Griffons free strike to control the zone.... Which doesn't matter because Rask just abuses Vyros' 360 Line of Sight to walk into the Zone and dominates it anyway.

Vyros loses, and succumbs to the scourge of Jewfish. Other stuff happens, in-fact it was a pretty... Old Greggy game to be honest, there was more window licker than a short bus in Mongolia and that's nothing to say of the die rolls. I would have Jesus flipped the table except it was my own house and I still want to play this game... kind of.

Its unfair to say I lost to bad dice. My opponent is good, although he can't beat a Khador army I can hose. No its not really that Gators and Jewfish are a really tough match up against Retribution. I asked the forum in Retribution and looked at the Gators one and they all seem to think that the Jewfish is not as powerful as I make him out to be, and generally an average caster. But the fact of the matter was, I lost to bad dice.

So bad in fact it must be something deeper, something that disturbs the very fabric of nature and the cosmos. As philosophical as the question "Does a ride by attack trigger admonition?" which is never asked. Its so bad that no matter how much I net deck and list trump and make up as many rules as possible, the Jewfish still prevails. There must be a time that the Retribution Strikes Back or all is lost to this Aquatic Menace.